Fall Forward In Order To Fulfill Your Dreams and Goals
The hard, cold truth is this: “When you have a dream, especially when it’s a big dream, people (loved ones included) many times will not want you to succeed. They will try to stop you in various ways – guilt is the main way. Know this, it is their own fear of what will change once you do succeed. Or as some people may say, “I’m just looking out for your best interest because I love and care about you.”
Parents are the main ones who are guilty of doing this. They tell their children to have a backup plan in place just in case that “dream of yours doesn’t work out.”
Denzel Washington, award winning actor and director, made this statement – “People may tell you ‘make sure you have something to fall back on.’ But I never understood that concept. If I’m gonna fall I don’t want to fall back on anything. I want to fall forward. At least this way I see what I’m gonna hit.”
Be Hard On Yourself
It’s okay to be hard on yourself. This is how you will push forward and do what is necessary to reach your goals. Just don’t be so hard on yourself that you put yourself down with the negative thoughts of “I can’t do this. What was I thinking? Why did I make that decision? I suck. This is too hard.”
Don’t use language that will not help you thrive. Don’t be hard on yourself if that means making yourself feel bad.
What’s even more important is this quote from Barbara Corcoran, real estate mogul and one of the sharks on the TV show “Sharktank.”
“Don’t moan and groan or bitch. I’ve never tolerated that because it’s contagious.”
Be Contagious In A Good Way
When you give in to those self-defeating actions, it pulls you backwards and you don’t fall forward. You end up making your life and others around you miserable. People, even your loved ones and friends, will stop wanting to be around you because they know at some point during the conversation it will turn into a pity party about how rough your life is. Nobody wants to constantly hear that. Shit happens to everyone in life. It’s how you choose to handle it that’s important.
Instead, you must be contagious in a good way with a positive attitude. Even when things are hard, when things are so bad that you want to quit and give up on following your dreams. It is your mental and emotional state of mind that will uplift you and give you the strength to carry on in a productive and healthy way. Plus, with this optimistic attitude you will get more people to help you. You will bring more positive energy into you world.
You Must Suffer
You may ask yourself, “Why do I have to suffer to achieve greatness?” Because that’s life. If it were that easy – becoming a doctor, walking on the moon, making a movie, earning a Ph.D., being a successful businessman or woman, running a corporate 500 company, earning a goal medalist in the Olympics, to be a musical conductor, to fight in the UFC, to run a marathon, to quit a job and start a business, to be a Grammy winning artist – everyone would do it.
Mental toughness is what helps build mental and emotional strength. It is was builds character. It is what gives you a thick skin to brush off the doubt, the negativity, the failures, and keep pushing forward.
When you do achieve your dreams and goals after all the blood, sweat, tears and suffering you had to endure you will appreciate it much more than if your parents just handed you a few million dollars and sent you on your way. Knowing you earned every penny you made, you earned every achievement, you earned the respect of your peers, and you earned greatness on your own terms that is what truly matters.
If you don’t feel like doing something – exercising, studying for school, going to work, writing chapters for your first novel, drilling basketball shots seven days a week, singing for hours each day to perfect your voice – do it anyway. Be disciplined and focused on what your dreams and goals are. Even if you hate it, suck it up and deal with it. There are no short cuts. No magic pill. No way around it. Greatness and success takes hard work and time. You have to be patient and keep pushing ahead even when it seems like it’s taking forever.
It’s not going to be easy. There will be days when you will say, “The hell with this. I’m going to get a cushy job and retire when I’m 65. Get a pension than call it a day.” But what will happen is when you are on your death bed, reflecting on your life, you will hate yourself for quitting. The dreams you had all your life will die with you.
Also, suffering makes you feel for others. When you have success, you’ll have more compassion for people who are in a position where you used to be. This is why it’s important to reach back and help someone else. Give back once you’ve made it because you know what it’s like to suffer.
“Keep away from those who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great ones, they make you believe that you too can become great.” – Mark Twain
Surround yourself with people who believe in you and rid yourself of those who don’t. It’s going to be hard enough for you to keep your spirits up when times get tough. You don’t need to be around people who will feed into your self-doubt or fear or uncertainty.
You want to have in your circle those who believe in you even if they don’t understand what you’re trying to achieve. Even if they think you’re crazy because you’re a visionary. They may not get your vision, but they support you because it’s YOU.
Get It Done
There will be days you are just fed up with “the grind,” doing the work each and every day. It will get so hard on some days that you don’t even want to get out of bed. That’s when you really need to ask yourself, “How bad do I want this?” Look at where your life is at this moment and that should be your answer. The other side of that pain is greatness, is success. Will it be worth all the discomfort and sacrifices you’re going through now? Hell yeah!
Putting in the grind each day means you have focus, discipline, and consistency. Then, eventually over time, days, weeks, months, years, you’ll see success. You’ll see all the hard work paid off.
When you see your business thriving, when you drop 50, 60, 100 pounds, when you have that gold mental placed around your neck, when you walk across the stage at graduation and get that degree slapped in your hand, when your put the OPEN sign on your shop, when you cross that finish line at the marathon, when you hold that first published novel you wrote in your hand, when you see the completed film that you directed, when you make a move to another state for a job you’ve always wanted, when you are fluent in several languages, when you achieve whatever goal you’ve invested so much time, energy, and money in, the sheer joy in your heart will make it all worthwhile.
Look For Ways To Improve
Along your journey, you will fall, but again, fall forward. But catch yourself before you hit the “ground” and smash your face. Take a look at what you did wrong. Use it as motivation to get up and do better. Look at the areas you need to improve and make the necessary changes. Take action.
It’s important to know and write down what your life goals are in order for you to know what you must do to achieve them. Write down daily, weekly, monthly, and yearly goals. Compare your goals from one year to the next to see what you did, or did not, accomplish, and why.
You must ask yourself – “What am I doing to get better, to improve.” This means mental, physical and spiritual growth. Why is that important? You can achieve your goals and be financially successful, but be a butthead in the process. You want to be a well-rounded, good person. There is always room for growth and it is in that growth that you will achieve your goals. It is in that growth that you will become a better person.
Whatever you fear that’s what you need to do if that thing is stopping you from achieving your dreams and goals. For example, if you want to be a motivational speaker, but you fear standing in front of people, you have a big problem. But if that is your dream to a successful speaker then you must look for ways to improve, to get over that fear. You must figure out how to do that.
Don’t Lie To Yourself
If you know you’re not the smartest person around improve yourself through education. Read, take classes, look at videos on-line, and read some more, which is essential to learning. If you want to become a world class runner, but you don’t know the first thing about how to run properly, what to wear, the best running shoes to buy, or the proper nutrition needed to fuel your body, do your research, hire a running coach or join a running group, seek advice from a nutritionist, get a complete physical and the clearance from your doctor.
Also, never lie to yourself about your limitations or shortcomings. If your dream is to become a doctor, but you can’t stand the sight of blood, be realistic because that probably will never work. If you want to be a pilot but you’re colorblind, not gonna happen. If you want to become an A-list actor who is ugly as hell, that will not… well, that can actually happen, but you must be a great actor. You still will have to do the work and study your craft. Be painfully and brutally honest with yourself. Then set into motion what you must do to change that picture.
Falling isn’t such a bad thing. You can fall down during your journey, but always get back up. You can fall forward and see where you’re landing. Again, stand up, brush off the failure, the setback, the anxiety, the doubt, the haters, those who don’t support you, and regroup. Tomorrow you’ll get another chance to get it right.
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